In the mean time, sway.
Sunday, 17 March 2013
Sway
I had the most quietly amazing weekend with George, and I have big news which unfortunately I can't share with you all for quite a long time. I know, I know. It's cruel to say I have news and then not tell you what it it. But it is wonderful news, and I want and need to savour it before I share it with the world.
In the mean time, sway.
George - I vote this is the song of today <3
In the mean time, sway.
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Kalen
If your imagination was personified or represented in an animal, what would it look like? I couldn't stop thinking about this and so ended up writing a poem about mine:
He tiptoes through,
This creature of my mind,
With soft, steady feet
And eyes not always kind.
Pointed ears
And pointed claws
He often growls
But cannot roar.
Mostly he listens,
Sometimes explores,
And brings back new ideas –
Stories to be wrought.
His eyes my mind’s
Not as sinister as he seems
Misunderstood softie
He pads through my dreams.
Red fur like autumn
Eyes of an owl
He soldiers on
Too heavy to howl.
He tiptoes through,
This creature of my mind,
With soft, steady feet
And eyes not always kind.
Pointed ears
And pointed claws
He often growls
But cannot roar.
Mostly he listens,
Sometimes explores,
And brings back new ideas –
Stories to be wrought.
His eyes my mind’s
Not as sinister as he seems
Misunderstood softie
He pads through my dreams.
Red fur like autumn
Eyes of an owl
He soldiers on
Too heavy to howl.
If you didn't guess, I think mine would be a fox. Though that could just be because I love foxes :P What about you?
The title of this post is actually a name, one that Jenni and I came up with when we were into His Dark Materials style daemons and such. It had some cool meaning and we used elvish words to make it, but I can't remember what it meant any more. Despite that I've never lost love for the name, so I guess that if this fox of mine had a name it would be Kalen.
Monday, 4 March 2013
Sunday, 3 March 2013
4 months
Greetings all
I thought I'd give myself a break from school work to put another post up as I am a top procrastinator and I feel I owe you a little more frequency in my posts, so here we are.
Other than being slightly disappointed that I won't be able to go up to my Dad's and see my half-sister next Friday-Sunday, I have still had an absolutely wonderful weekend. George was here from about 1pm on Saturday to 5pm today, and my brother Alex (who lives in Cornwall) decided to come up and visit us for a few days :D So he arrived early today and after George had a minor panic about what my brother would think of him, they got on fine and my brother says George seems great. SO THERE, GEORGE. I WIN ;)
Today also happens to be 4 months since George and I got together, so we celebrated that with a weekend of cuddles, movies, and on Saturday night I made George dinner.We didn't really end up doing much or being particularly romantic, but it was actually a lovely way of celebrating 4 very happy months together, and I really enjoyed our weekend.
And now I am in bed at 9.40pm (yeah, I know I'm a rubbish teenager) after a good evening with my mum and Alex. My other brother Laurie did phone, but the phone ran out of battery half way through our conversation and he hasn't called back :/ So that sucked a bit. Before it cut out he did tell me a little story from our childhood, which was quite funny to hear given I've been baking a lot lately. Apparently, when I was around 2 or 3 years old Laurie would often be in the kitchen baking or cooking something (he would have been 16/17ish) and he would sit me up on a stool beside him so we could be baking together. Obviously I can't remember any of it, but it sounds really sweet and I love the idea of it. So now next time I bake something I'll probably have that image in the back of my mind and know that although we can't bake together any more, we used to in a silly kind of way.
We're all feeling quite proud of Laurie lately... Since 2012, there have been quite a few articles and interviews with my brother in New York newspapers and websites, but lately he has made it back home in print with an article in The Chronicle & Echo, and several other newpapers which I regretfully can't remember. This is the Chronicle and Echo article: http://www.northamptonchron.co.uk/news/business/local-businesses/former-northampton-college-student-named-one-of-new-york-s-best-chefs-1-4775833; and this is another from an American website: http://newyork.seriouseats.com/2012/09/we-chat-with-laurie-jon-moran-of-le-bernardin-interview.html (although there is a slight mistake, as I can personally confirm that mum made Laurie cakes rather than 'foams' for his birthday :P). It may be interesting to you or it may not, but I am very proud to say that my brother Laurie, who used to read me bed time stories and sit my 2 year old self next to him while he baked, has now been named one of New York's best chefs, so I simply cannot resist putting those articles in here. So check them out if you are interested :)
It's hit 10pm so I feel it is probably an acceptable time for a 17 year old to go to sleep, thus I shall say goodnight, and I hope you had a wonderful weekend too.
Also I shall wish my dear Suffolk friend Sammykins a Happy Birthday :)
I'll try to write again soon.
G'night.
Jenny x
Happy 4 months George, I love you. <3
I thought I'd give myself a break from school work to put another post up as I am a top procrastinator and I feel I owe you a little more frequency in my posts, so here we are.
Other than being slightly disappointed that I won't be able to go up to my Dad's and see my half-sister next Friday-Sunday, I have still had an absolutely wonderful weekend. George was here from about 1pm on Saturday to 5pm today, and my brother Alex (who lives in Cornwall) decided to come up and visit us for a few days :D So he arrived early today and after George had a minor panic about what my brother would think of him, they got on fine and my brother says George seems great. SO THERE, GEORGE. I WIN ;)
Today also happens to be 4 months since George and I got together, so we celebrated that with a weekend of cuddles, movies, and on Saturday night I made George dinner.We didn't really end up doing much or being particularly romantic, but it was actually a lovely way of celebrating 4 very happy months together, and I really enjoyed our weekend.
And now I am in bed at 9.40pm (yeah, I know I'm a rubbish teenager) after a good evening with my mum and Alex. My other brother Laurie did phone, but the phone ran out of battery half way through our conversation and he hasn't called back :/ So that sucked a bit. Before it cut out he did tell me a little story from our childhood, which was quite funny to hear given I've been baking a lot lately. Apparently, when I was around 2 or 3 years old Laurie would often be in the kitchen baking or cooking something (he would have been 16/17ish) and he would sit me up on a stool beside him so we could be baking together. Obviously I can't remember any of it, but it sounds really sweet and I love the idea of it. So now next time I bake something I'll probably have that image in the back of my mind and know that although we can't bake together any more, we used to in a silly kind of way.
We're all feeling quite proud of Laurie lately... Since 2012, there have been quite a few articles and interviews with my brother in New York newspapers and websites, but lately he has made it back home in print with an article in The Chronicle & Echo, and several other newpapers which I regretfully can't remember. This is the Chronicle and Echo article: http://www.northamptonchron.co.uk/news/business/local-businesses/former-northampton-college-student-named-one-of-new-york-s-best-chefs-1-4775833; and this is another from an American website: http://newyork.seriouseats.com/2012/09/we-chat-with-laurie-jon-moran-of-le-bernardin-interview.html (although there is a slight mistake, as I can personally confirm that mum made Laurie cakes rather than 'foams' for his birthday :P). It may be interesting to you or it may not, but I am very proud to say that my brother Laurie, who used to read me bed time stories and sit my 2 year old self next to him while he baked, has now been named one of New York's best chefs, so I simply cannot resist putting those articles in here. So check them out if you are interested :)
It's hit 10pm so I feel it is probably an acceptable time for a 17 year old to go to sleep, thus I shall say goodnight, and I hope you had a wonderful weekend too.
Also I shall wish my dear Suffolk friend Sammykins a Happy Birthday :)
I'll try to write again soon.
G'night.
Jenny x
Happy 4 months George, I love you. <3
Friday, 1 March 2013
Catch up time
Sorry it's been such a long time, life has been pretty hectic lately.
We did have a half-term, but I spent mine at George's and then in Plymouth, so I haven't had quiet time at home for a while.
So yeah... Sunday-Friday of half-term was spent with George, and it was absolutely wonderful. I had an amazing week with him <3 Lots of hilarity, cuddles and love. We mostly stayed at home all week, watching films, doing school work, and cuddling. We did interact with other people though - Because pancake day is genius we made pancakes with his sister (that ended up being pretty darn funny) and then on the Wednesday we headed out to sit in on George's friend's band practice, so that was good. Valentine's Day was wonderful, and we definitely spoiled each other a bit! I'm actually currently cuddled up in one of the presents George gave me: a lovely warm hoodie that is sprayed with his aftershave because I simply adore his smell :D It was a perfect week together, and I cannot express how amazing George is.
Friday 15th-Sunday 17th Mum and I were down in Plymouth with my brother, as I had an applicant day at Plymouth University (I finally got all 5 of my offers by the way! Now to do the scary part and choose! D:). The applicant day was great, I really do love it there and I would pick them in a heartbeat if only Plymouth wasn't so far from home, George and my sister. Despite the distance I really do love it, so Plymouth may end up being my insurance choice. It was also really good to spend a little time with my brother and his girlfriend, even though I had to spend a lot of the weekend writing coursework.
It was back to school on the 18th, and that week wasn't too bad even though it was difficult to get back into the school routine. On Tuesday George was off school with a migraine, and I almost managed to go and check on him, but after a discussion about it we decided it wasn't for the best. I did end up going round on Thursday evening instead, and although it was only for a few hours I think we both really enjoyed the chance to see each other sooner. We're not so good at being apart now. On Saturday George and I went on a double date with Will and Beth, which consisted of bowling and lunch and had hilarious results. The date was good fun, and it was great to catch up with Beth again, but I do feel sorry for the people in the lane next to us at the bowling alley! Two cuddly teenage couples can't have been exactly what they wanted to see right at that moment, but ah well. Saturday night found us at a charity concert in Market Harborough, which George's mum was singing in! It was absolutely fantastic! I loved it, and we all gave the performers a well-deserved standing ovation at the end. Sunday was quieter, as we just did an hour and a half of work and spent the rest of our time cuddled on the sofa watching Breaking Bad (which is pretty darn good by the way, check it out y'all :P).
This week has been a little topsy turvy to be honest.
Monday really wasn't a good day. It was the first time I've ever locked myself in the loos and cried, and I hope to God it was the last time. And it wasn't because I was being teased, or stressed out or anything like that, I just... I've never felt more invisible in my entire life. I was sitting with some of my usual friends in the morning, but no one in the whole group that I was sitting with actually acknowledged my existence, even when I spoke directly to them or responded to a question. One occurrence went as such:
Girl (not naming because I'm not sure who sees this): Is anyone going to town tomorrow between break and lunch?
*Chorus of mumbled no's from everyone else*
Me: I'm not sure, maybe.
Girl: Damn, okay, I'll drag X with me.
Me: I wasn't planning on it but I could go, I do need to get some things.
Girl: *glances at me, grunts* Since no one is going I'll just drag X with me
Was I invisible or something? Did I not exist? I know that probably doesn't seem that bad, but that on top of all the other moments and the state of mind I was already in, that just really got to me. And there was no one I could turn to because Cheryl and Luke weren't around, George was at school so it wouldn't have been safe to phone, and mum was at work. Monday's are normally quite difficult generally because I'm on my own after a weekend of constant company, and I just generally feel a little weaker as a person. So naturally... I didn't cope with it all very well. I actually ended up phoning my mum and my brother at lunch time, because I just didn't know what to do. And then the rest of the day proceeded to be crap too, so that was fan-fucking-tastic. So at the end of the day, I went home, curled up in George's jumper and just slept. Yeah... so Monday wasn't a good day.
Tuesday... Tuesday was okay. But that's mostly just because I worked solidly from 8.30am until 1.20pm, and didn't really interact with anyone very much. Bonus is I got a lot of work done and I also didn't get stressed. George mentioned that he was seriously missing me, so I called him for a couple of minutes just to ease that a little. It was really good to hear his voice actually. At ballet we did a hell of a lot of work, and I discovered that my Grade 4 exam will now be on the 27th of May...
Wednesday was good. I had an essay due for first lesson (9am), and I'd only managed to get a paragraph done on Tuesday night, so I worked on it from 8.15 unil 8.55 at school and managed to get about 4 pages done. I was quite happy with it but wanted to add a few more paragraphs so my teacher gave me until the end of the day. By the end of lunchtime I was handing in a 6/7 page essay that I had completed in roughly 1 and a half hours, so I felt pretty damn good about that. I'd also spent lunch writing next to Cleughy and Hannah, which naturally was ridiculously funny. Hannah got very stressed at a crossword and shouted at a kid for mispronouncing 'Jane Eyre'... It was beautiful. As soon as the essay was in I walked to the gym and stayed until 3.40, and it felt so good just to exercise and work the residual Monday-stress away. Then I met Heather for dinner and finally went home and made cupcakes and biscuits with mother dear :D <3
Thursday was also fine. Because I intend to study English with Creative Writing at University, I've asked my English teacher to set me an article to write once a fortnight, so that I can have a chance to practice researching and writing articles, particularly on a subject I have no prior knowledge of. This time she has given me 'Parliament is not a good place for women', so I'll be writing that soon and I might post it up on here in case anyone is interested. The articles are obviously going to just add to my already massive pile of school work and revision to get through each week, but I do think it will be worth it in the end. I spent Thursday evening doing homework and baking a cake for Cheryl's birthday. It was a Devil's Food Cake sponge which I shaped and decorated as a book, and the damn thing kept me up working on it until 3am -_-
Today was so-so to be honest. It being Cheryl's birthday we naturally all gathered around her in the library to shower her with gifts, hugs (and cake on my part), whilst standing in a circle reminiscent of a satanic ritual, which Jenni unnervingly pointed out as she sat next to me half dressed as Harley Quinn. Cheryl loved the look of the cake so if she likes the taste too then hopefully only getting two and a half hours sleep last night will be worth it. Galen and I had a disagreement in psychology, and his narcissistic manner left me fed up again. Thus, surprise surprise, I went to the gym for a few hours. Had a nice chat with the staff, and got a compliment which made me feel much better about myself in general, as I've been having a lot more anxiety over my body-related insecurities lately. I was back to school in time for an hour of homework, Cheryl, and Luke, and then my last lesson of the day. This evening, mum and I have been doing our usual Friday evening activities of chatting, drinking wine, cooking, and preparing for George's arrival tomorrow. It's George and I's 4 months on Sunday, and I said I would could him dinner to celebrate, so mum and I did a trial run of the meal tonight. Now that 8 out of 10 Cats and The Last Leg have finished I am off to tidy my room so that it is spotless for the boyfriend.
Goodnight everyone. Sorry this has been such a crappy post, particularly given how overdue it was.
I promise to be more interesting next time.
Update: I just found this picture on my phone, which I drew in a Psychology lesson after the crap Monday morning I mentioned. This seems to be my stick-people representation of how it felt to be invisible.
We did have a half-term, but I spent mine at George's and then in Plymouth, so I haven't had quiet time at home for a while.
So yeah... Sunday-Friday of half-term was spent with George, and it was absolutely wonderful. I had an amazing week with him <3 Lots of hilarity, cuddles and love. We mostly stayed at home all week, watching films, doing school work, and cuddling. We did interact with other people though - Because pancake day is genius we made pancakes with his sister (that ended up being pretty darn funny) and then on the Wednesday we headed out to sit in on George's friend's band practice, so that was good. Valentine's Day was wonderful, and we definitely spoiled each other a bit! I'm actually currently cuddled up in one of the presents George gave me: a lovely warm hoodie that is sprayed with his aftershave because I simply adore his smell :D It was a perfect week together, and I cannot express how amazing George is.
Friday 15th-Sunday 17th Mum and I were down in Plymouth with my brother, as I had an applicant day at Plymouth University (I finally got all 5 of my offers by the way! Now to do the scary part and choose! D:). The applicant day was great, I really do love it there and I would pick them in a heartbeat if only Plymouth wasn't so far from home, George and my sister. Despite the distance I really do love it, so Plymouth may end up being my insurance choice. It was also really good to spend a little time with my brother and his girlfriend, even though I had to spend a lot of the weekend writing coursework.
It was back to school on the 18th, and that week wasn't too bad even though it was difficult to get back into the school routine. On Tuesday George was off school with a migraine, and I almost managed to go and check on him, but after a discussion about it we decided it wasn't for the best. I did end up going round on Thursday evening instead, and although it was only for a few hours I think we both really enjoyed the chance to see each other sooner. We're not so good at being apart now. On Saturday George and I went on a double date with Will and Beth, which consisted of bowling and lunch and had hilarious results. The date was good fun, and it was great to catch up with Beth again, but I do feel sorry for the people in the lane next to us at the bowling alley! Two cuddly teenage couples can't have been exactly what they wanted to see right at that moment, but ah well. Saturday night found us at a charity concert in Market Harborough, which George's mum was singing in! It was absolutely fantastic! I loved it, and we all gave the performers a well-deserved standing ovation at the end. Sunday was quieter, as we just did an hour and a half of work and spent the rest of our time cuddled on the sofa watching Breaking Bad (which is pretty darn good by the way, check it out y'all :P).
This week has been a little topsy turvy to be honest.
Monday really wasn't a good day. It was the first time I've ever locked myself in the loos and cried, and I hope to God it was the last time. And it wasn't because I was being teased, or stressed out or anything like that, I just... I've never felt more invisible in my entire life. I was sitting with some of my usual friends in the morning, but no one in the whole group that I was sitting with actually acknowledged my existence, even when I spoke directly to them or responded to a question. One occurrence went as such:
Girl (not naming because I'm not sure who sees this): Is anyone going to town tomorrow between break and lunch?
*Chorus of mumbled no's from everyone else*
Me: I'm not sure, maybe.
Girl: Damn, okay, I'll drag X with me.
Me: I wasn't planning on it but I could go, I do need to get some things.
Girl: *glances at me, grunts* Since no one is going I'll just drag X with me
Was I invisible or something? Did I not exist? I know that probably doesn't seem that bad, but that on top of all the other moments and the state of mind I was already in, that just really got to me. And there was no one I could turn to because Cheryl and Luke weren't around, George was at school so it wouldn't have been safe to phone, and mum was at work. Monday's are normally quite difficult generally because I'm on my own after a weekend of constant company, and I just generally feel a little weaker as a person. So naturally... I didn't cope with it all very well. I actually ended up phoning my mum and my brother at lunch time, because I just didn't know what to do. And then the rest of the day proceeded to be crap too, so that was fan-fucking-tastic. So at the end of the day, I went home, curled up in George's jumper and just slept. Yeah... so Monday wasn't a good day.
Tuesday... Tuesday was okay. But that's mostly just because I worked solidly from 8.30am until 1.20pm, and didn't really interact with anyone very much. Bonus is I got a lot of work done and I also didn't get stressed. George mentioned that he was seriously missing me, so I called him for a couple of minutes just to ease that a little. It was really good to hear his voice actually. At ballet we did a hell of a lot of work, and I discovered that my Grade 4 exam will now be on the 27th of May...
Wednesday was good. I had an essay due for first lesson (9am), and I'd only managed to get a paragraph done on Tuesday night, so I worked on it from 8.15 unil 8.55 at school and managed to get about 4 pages done. I was quite happy with it but wanted to add a few more paragraphs so my teacher gave me until the end of the day. By the end of lunchtime I was handing in a 6/7 page essay that I had completed in roughly 1 and a half hours, so I felt pretty damn good about that. I'd also spent lunch writing next to Cleughy and Hannah, which naturally was ridiculously funny. Hannah got very stressed at a crossword and shouted at a kid for mispronouncing 'Jane Eyre'... It was beautiful. As soon as the essay was in I walked to the gym and stayed until 3.40, and it felt so good just to exercise and work the residual Monday-stress away. Then I met Heather for dinner and finally went home and made cupcakes and biscuits with mother dear :D <3
Thursday was also fine. Because I intend to study English with Creative Writing at University, I've asked my English teacher to set me an article to write once a fortnight, so that I can have a chance to practice researching and writing articles, particularly on a subject I have no prior knowledge of. This time she has given me 'Parliament is not a good place for women', so I'll be writing that soon and I might post it up on here in case anyone is interested. The articles are obviously going to just add to my already massive pile of school work and revision to get through each week, but I do think it will be worth it in the end. I spent Thursday evening doing homework and baking a cake for Cheryl's birthday. It was a Devil's Food Cake sponge which I shaped and decorated as a book, and the damn thing kept me up working on it until 3am -_-
Today was so-so to be honest. It being Cheryl's birthday we naturally all gathered around her in the library to shower her with gifts, hugs (and cake on my part), whilst standing in a circle reminiscent of a satanic ritual, which Jenni unnervingly pointed out as she sat next to me half dressed as Harley Quinn. Cheryl loved the look of the cake so if she likes the taste too then hopefully only getting two and a half hours sleep last night will be worth it. Galen and I had a disagreement in psychology, and his narcissistic manner left me fed up again. Thus, surprise surprise, I went to the gym for a few hours. Had a nice chat with the staff, and got a compliment which made me feel much better about myself in general, as I've been having a lot more anxiety over my body-related insecurities lately. I was back to school in time for an hour of homework, Cheryl, and Luke, and then my last lesson of the day. This evening, mum and I have been doing our usual Friday evening activities of chatting, drinking wine, cooking, and preparing for George's arrival tomorrow. It's George and I's 4 months on Sunday, and I said I would could him dinner to celebrate, so mum and I did a trial run of the meal tonight. Now that 8 out of 10 Cats and The Last Leg have finished I am off to tidy my room so that it is spotless for the boyfriend.
Goodnight everyone. Sorry this has been such a crappy post, particularly given how overdue it was.
I promise to be more interesting next time.
Update: I just found this picture on my phone, which I drew in a Psychology lesson after the crap Monday morning I mentioned. This seems to be my stick-people representation of how it felt to be invisible.
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