We did have a half-term, but I spent mine at George's and then in Plymouth, so I haven't had quiet time at home for a while.
So yeah... Sunday-Friday of half-term was spent with George, and it was absolutely wonderful. I had an amazing week with him <3 Lots of hilarity, cuddles and love. We mostly stayed at home all week, watching films, doing school work, and cuddling. We did interact with other people though - Because pancake day is genius we made pancakes with his sister (that ended up being pretty darn funny) and then on the Wednesday we headed out to sit in on George's friend's band practice, so that was good. Valentine's Day was wonderful, and we definitely spoiled each other a bit! I'm actually currently cuddled up in one of the presents George gave me: a lovely warm hoodie that is sprayed with his aftershave because I simply adore his smell :D It was a perfect week together, and I cannot express how amazing George is.
Friday 15th-Sunday 17th Mum and I were down in Plymouth with my brother, as I had an applicant day at Plymouth University (I finally got all 5 of my offers by the way! Now to do the scary part and choose! D:). The applicant day was great, I really do love it there and I would pick them in a heartbeat if only Plymouth wasn't so far from home, George and my sister. Despite the distance I really do love it, so Plymouth may end up being my insurance choice. It was also really good to spend a little time with my brother and his girlfriend, even though I had to spend a lot of the weekend writing coursework.
It was back to school on the 18th, and that week wasn't too bad even though it was difficult to get back into the school routine. On Tuesday George was off school with a migraine, and I almost managed to go and check on him, but after a discussion about it we decided it wasn't for the best. I did end up going round on Thursday evening instead, and although it was only for a few hours I think we both really enjoyed the chance to see each other sooner. We're not so good at being apart now. On Saturday George and I went on a double date with Will and Beth, which consisted of bowling and lunch and had hilarious results. The date was good fun, and it was great to catch up with Beth again, but I do feel sorry for the people in the lane next to us at the bowling alley! Two cuddly teenage couples can't have been exactly what they wanted to see right at that moment, but ah well. Saturday night found us at a charity concert in Market Harborough, which George's mum was singing in! It was absolutely fantastic! I loved it, and we all gave the performers a well-deserved standing ovation at the end. Sunday was quieter, as we just did an hour and a half of work and spent the rest of our time cuddled on the sofa watching Breaking Bad (which is pretty darn good by the way, check it out y'all :P).
This week has been a little topsy turvy to be honest.
Monday really wasn't a good day. It was the first time I've ever locked myself in the loos and cried, and I hope to God it was the last time. And it wasn't because I was being teased, or stressed out or anything like that, I just... I've never felt more invisible in my entire life. I was sitting with some of my usual friends in the morning, but no one in the whole group that I was sitting with actually acknowledged my existence, even when I spoke directly to them or responded to a question. One occurrence went as such:
Girl (not naming because I'm not sure who sees this): Is anyone going to town tomorrow between break and lunch?
*Chorus of mumbled no's from everyone else*
Me: I'm not sure, maybe.
Girl: Damn, okay, I'll drag X with me.
Me: I wasn't planning on it but I could go, I do need to get some things.
Girl: *glances at me, grunts* Since no one is going I'll just drag X with me
Was I invisible or something? Did I not exist? I know that probably doesn't seem that bad, but that on top of all the other moments and the state of mind I was already in, that just really got to me. And there was no one I could turn to because Cheryl and Luke weren't around, George was at school so it wouldn't have been safe to phone, and mum was at work. Monday's are normally quite difficult generally because I'm on my own after a weekend of constant company, and I just generally feel a little weaker as a person. So naturally... I didn't cope with it all very well. I actually ended up phoning my mum and my brother at lunch time, because I just didn't know what to do. And then the rest of the day proceeded to be crap too, so that was fan-fucking-tastic. So at the end of the day, I went home, curled up in George's jumper and just slept. Yeah... so Monday wasn't a good day.
Tuesday... Tuesday was okay. But that's mostly just because I worked solidly from 8.30am until 1.20pm, and didn't really interact with anyone very much. Bonus is I got a lot of work done and I also didn't get stressed. George mentioned that he was seriously missing me, so I called him for a couple of minutes just to ease that a little. It was really good to hear his voice actually. At ballet we did a hell of a lot of work, and I discovered that my Grade 4 exam will now be on the 27th of May...
Wednesday was good. I had an essay due for first lesson (9am), and I'd only managed to get a paragraph done on Tuesday night, so I worked on it from 8.15 unil 8.55 at school and managed to get about 4 pages done. I was quite happy with it but wanted to add a few more paragraphs so my teacher gave me until the end of the day. By the end of lunchtime I was handing in a 6/7 page essay that I had completed in roughly 1 and a half hours, so I felt pretty damn good about that. I'd also spent lunch writing next to Cleughy and Hannah, which naturally was ridiculously funny. Hannah got very stressed at a crossword and shouted at a kid for mispronouncing 'Jane Eyre'... It was beautiful. As soon as the essay was in I walked to the gym and stayed until 3.40, and it felt so good just to exercise and work the residual Monday-stress away. Then I met Heather for dinner and finally went home and made cupcakes and biscuits with mother dear :D <3
Thursday was also fine. Because I intend to study English with Creative Writing at University, I've asked my English teacher to set me an article to write once a fortnight, so that I can have a chance to practice researching and writing articles, particularly on a subject I have no prior knowledge of. This time she has given me 'Parliament is not a good place for women', so I'll be writing that soon and I might post it up on here in case anyone is interested. The articles are obviously going to just add to my already massive pile of school work and revision to get through each week, but I do think it will be worth it in the end. I spent Thursday evening doing homework and baking a cake for Cheryl's birthday. It was a Devil's Food Cake sponge which I shaped and decorated as a book, and the damn thing kept me up working on it until 3am -_-
Today was so-so to be honest. It being Cheryl's birthday we naturally all gathered around her in the library to shower her with gifts, hugs (and cake on my part), whilst standing in a circle reminiscent of a satanic ritual, which Jenni unnervingly pointed out as she sat next to me half dressed as Harley Quinn. Cheryl loved the look of the cake so if she likes the taste too then hopefully only getting two and a half hours sleep last night will be worth it. Galen and I had a disagreement in psychology, and his narcissistic manner left me fed up again. Thus, surprise surprise, I went to the gym for a few hours. Had a nice chat with the staff, and got a compliment which made me feel much better about myself in general, as I've been having a lot more anxiety over my body-related insecurities lately. I was back to school in time for an hour of homework, Cheryl, and Luke, and then my last lesson of the day. This evening, mum and I have been doing our usual Friday evening activities of chatting, drinking wine, cooking, and preparing for George's arrival tomorrow. It's George and I's 4 months on Sunday, and I said I would could him dinner to celebrate, so mum and I did a trial run of the meal tonight. Now that 8 out of 10 Cats and The Last Leg have finished I am off to tidy my room so that it is spotless for the boyfriend.
Goodnight everyone. Sorry this has been such a crappy post, particularly given how overdue it was.
I promise to be more interesting next time.
Update: I just found this picture on my phone, which I drew in a Psychology lesson after the crap Monday morning I mentioned. This seems to be my stick-people representation of how it felt to be invisible.
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