I was reading a rather good book while listening to music today when the voice of one of my favourite men in the world graced my ears. Immediately, I felt a sudden tearfulness. I was not feeling sad. I was feeling extraordinarily grateful.
I realised, then and there, that in this so far brief life I have been surrounded by men of astonishing calibre. Not only in the form my brothers, who you all know I adore as incredible men, but also in the form of several male friends.
There is one man whom I have known longer than I have known my own half-sister, and whom has been a constant rock in my life. David. We have been calling each other brother and sister for longer than I can remember and it is a claim on him that I cling to. We have helped each other through different kinds of pain and taught each other how to enjoy the little things again. He has suffered far more than any person should be allowed to suffer in a lifetime and he has not even reached 20. This is a fact which angers me as much as it baffles me, and it baffles me because he remains an incredibly strong, kind and genuine individual. He is also entirely content to sit in a darkened room and play Tombraider (or some other video game that I am even worse at) with me, an event which I am so excited to be happening tomorrow evening. I miss him and I absolutely cannot wait to see him.
Another wonderful rock-man in my life is Lachlan. We also helped each other through pain, although we were suffering from the same mental illnesses, and sometimes I feel quite sure that we would have not survived to the ripe old age of 19 without each other's companionship and support. After getting through all that shit, he is now doing pretty darn well for himself and just finished his first year at Oxford! He still calls me when he needs me, and makes sure I know I can do the same. But I think he is doing okay. He is looking after himself and everyone else, still that kind and generous gentleman that I've always known. When he surfs, he becomes some inhuman astonishing sea creature that flies across the water and comes home sopping wet and utterly delighted with himself. You have no idea how endearing that it to see.
As much as I will always say that William saved my life, or at least convinced me that there was hope, I have come to realise that these other extraordinary men had been keeping me alive for years before he came along.
During my first year at University I met a wonderful crazy guy called Sam, my closest Keele girl's boyfriend. He is mad, loud and occasionally a little too much for little me. He is super intelligent and super kind. He also learned to read me like an open book rather quickly, and because of that ability has helped me buck up my ideas and set me on the right path. He looks out for me, as well as everyone else. I have so many reasons to be grateful for his presence in my life this year. Not only is he doing a medical degree at Keele, but he also created and runs Keele Samba band (he is a super talented percussionist who played 'Bumblebee' on the xylophone blindfolded. Be impressed.), has his own charity and frequents Africa to check up on the progress his charity is making there, and loves his gorgeous girlfriend Rachel like nothing else in the world. If that doesn't read as incredible calibre than what does?
George. Although we broke up this year, it was not with any bad feelings or constant faults. He is more intelligent than he realises, and I do believe that he will one day be the star of the gaming industry. His mind, his imagination, is incredible. I always wished I could see it. And despite this talent amongst his many others, he is always modest and was an utter gentleman to me.
Ian is just something else. Like, how is that guy human? His passion for education, nature and the good things in life taught me the true value of them. He is cheeky in an intelligent and endearing way that I love, and inexpressibly kind. I wish I'd had way more time to get to know him.
Pete, my brothers' dad, has always treated me like his own daughter. I cannot express to you how amazing that felt when I was having such trouble with my real father. He makes me feel like my opinion is valued, like I am as a person valued. Unlike my own father, he has never resented my mother and it is testament to his enormous capacity of love that he has completely forgiven my father. He prays for him. He's also super talented and a total bookworm, which I enjoy greatly.
William, my gorgeous best friend. A talented, kind and incredible young man. He completes me, and he knows exactly how to make everything right again. Super talented, super modest. It is a continual bafflement to me that he has not been snapped up by a very lucky girl. I look forward to spending my old lady days sat next to my best friend and his family (he has already told me that I will be Godmother to his children, although I'll claim the title of Auntie), reminiscing about past adventures that are currently still under construction. I marvel at his kind and incredible heart every day, and I desperately hope that he will be properly happy soon. And also that he will send me the beautiful song that he is writing.
My brothers, of course. Those incredible men with their individual talents and their individual problems who have always, always been better brothers than I could ever have wished for. They protected me as long as possible from my own father, never speaking a word against him in my presence despite the pain that he had caused them. My brothers, those home boys who despite the extensive distance between us have not become distant themselves and still phone home as often as they can. I have a lot to live up to.
Of course there are hundreds of other men in my life who deserve paragraphs upon paragraphs, but these are the men in my life who came to my mind when I cried tears of joy at being so blessed.
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